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My 13 Year Old Terror

by Mandy
(Tx, USA)

I'm a mother of a 17 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. My son has been very angry for some time now. Neither I nor my husband can figure out why.

When he gets angry he kicks the walls, throws things, cusses, tells people to shut up, makes us get out of his room. I mean he’s just so hateful. We had to pull him out of school and homeschooling him because he wouldn't go. He would kick and scream and my husband and I thought if we were to call the cops and make him go that it would really mess his head up even more.

Him and daughter don’t get along at all. He's very mean to her. Calls her names, mean to her friends. It's just unbelievable. I was diagnosed with epilepsy about 5yrs ago. So we at first thought that's what was going on. He was just scared something would happen to me. But even now with him home nothing has changed.

He's a very nervous kid. He never wants to go stay overnight anywhere, always wants to be with me and my husband. We literally cannot go on our front porch without him following.

He still sleeps in the same bed as us. And he really needs to get out. He does nothing we ask him to do.

He's just lazy. But only when it comes to helping us. As far as athletics, he loves basketball, he loves working out, and that Xbox is his pride and joy. But if we take it away as punishment it’s almost like he goes crazy. He says he wants to die. Just ridiculous things. I mean after he says that he wants to die, he apologizes and says he doesn't mean it.

Please someone help. I'm at my wits end and so is my husband. We don't have insurance on the kids as of yet since my husband just switched jobs. And I really don't want to put him on medication. But I have to do something. Please any advice from anyone would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot.

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Aug 20, 2015
You And Your Husband Need To Take Action To Save Your Son
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello Mandy

You don't realize it, but you and your husband are creating a tyrant, without meaning to. I'm sure you are good people, with the best of intentions. But when parents allow a child to dominate them with his anger, they are teaching that child that anger is a good way to control others, and he will have problems all of his life because of it...unless you act responsibly and correct some things right away.

Please take a look at these audio download/CD programs, which are designed to help parents just like you, in dealing with an angry adolescent child. I strongly encourage you to use these programs to educate yourself and your husband on the necessary steps you need to take to change the course of your son's behavior.

Also, immediately, whatever it takes, get him out of your bed and into his own. I assure you that this is a big part of his problem. He is a successful athlete, and is developing normally in many ways, and even though he continues to choose it, I promise you that it bothers him that he still sleeps in the bed with him mom and dad.

I know this may not be easy for you, but it will most definitely get harder as he gets older, bigger and stronger. You're wise to act now.

Your son is a good kid, and you are good parents. But you have started some patterns that are very destructive to his development, and will only get worse until they are corrected.

Write again, and let us know of your progress.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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