Now Available! Dr. DeFoore's New Book GOODFINDING
Mad At The World 24/7
Here within the last 3-5 years, I have had so much anger. I've always been a short tempered person but it has gotten so much worse recently.
I was ridiculed a lot as a kid and never really stood up for myself and I think some of that could be from where it comes from. I stay mad at the world all day everyday.
When I'm driving the least little thing will set me off. I don't wreck anyone or anything I just complain about the person in question and cuss at them. When I'm out somewhere and someone does something I think is "stupid" I always point it out and go on and on about how I feel in that situation.
When me and my wife have a disagreement, we always end up in a yelling match mostly because of me. I take offense so easily to criticism or even constructive criticism that I fly off the handle and shout and yell and usually bring up issues we have had in the past.
I almost always call her names and belittle her to the point of crying. I love this woman with all my heart and soul but its like when I get mad I am a totally different person.
This has put a severe strain on our marriage both with the anger at home and in public. My anger has also caused me to be reprimanded at work a couple of times and the situation wasn't even that serious. I just turned it into a HUGE deal.
I recently took your anger management assessment and I got a score of 50 which you state is severe and that is how I perceive it also. I just want it gone forever and for me to live a happier and more fulfilling life. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Harrison, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell from your writing here that you're a good person, who wants to get better.
I can also tell you're having a very hard time with your anger. I will try to help.
First, I recommend that you do all of the exercises recommended on this FAQ page. These are powerful and effective tools, but they only help if you use them--not once, but repeatedly until you get the results you're looking for. This is not easy, but it's a lot easier than continuing the way you have been.
I also recommend that you read this page on the angry man. It describes what a healthy man is, and it will give you something to work toward.
The reason you don't like the anger is because it doesn't match up with who you really are, or who you want to be. Make up your mind to become the good man you want to be.
My very best to you,