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Loss Of My Mother And Difficulties With My Grieving Family

by Barbara
(Waycross, GA, US)

My mother passed away January 29, 2013. I have gone through several stages of grief in a one week period. I feel as though I am still in shock but at times I feel angry with God for taking her. She was 67 years old.

I lost my dad May 12, 2008. I told my mom she could go to be with dad but now I feel like my family did not do enough for her. As a family we took her off life support on January 20. She was moved to Hospice House on January 21.

I was there with her when she took her last breath on January 29. I was the only family member there. When my oldest nephew got there, he wanted to know why I didn't call earlier. He was very angry with me. I tried to explain that I called the family when the nurse told me to.

Mom passed away before the rest of my family got there. He did not want to hear what I had to say. We buried her on Saturday and the family is already fighting. I am trying to stay away because I cannot handle the fighting and cussing. I want to grieve for my mother in peace without all the fighting and cussing.

A jade cross necklace came up missing and now my brother says nothing can be removed from the house until the necklace is found. I am the oldest but no one wants to listen to me because I am diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety disorder and they are afraid that I will end up in the hospital.

I promised myself and my mom that I was not going into a hospital like I did with my dad. I have been around my special friends and my church family more than my own family. Please remember me and my family as they go through the stages of grief. I know that my mom is no longer suffering and is at peace. I sure do miss her though and wish she was still here.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Barbara, and thanks for telling your story here. You are doing a great job of taking care of yourself and staying out of toxic communication in your family. This is a great example of healthy boundaries. Keep up the good work, and honor your love and grief processes.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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