I feel like the worst person in the world. While growing up I've always been the outsider, feeling like I was never accepted by my family. Nobody ever gave me the chance to talk, & I got yelled at many times.
Now my anger has only gotten worse, to where if I'm getting yelled at, but not given my fair chance to talk, I just black out & unfortunately start yelling as if to say you will hear me regardless.
It's happened to me three times now, once with a girl, the other two my mother & grandma. After the times involving my mom & grandma, I close myself in a room and get suicidal thoughts.
I really, really need help.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. Feeling like an outsider, left out, and excluded can be very painful. You want to be heard, and you should be heard. Your challenge is to communicate in such a way that you can indeed be heard, not rejected because of your anger.
In your anger, you're trying to break through the barrier that separates you from those you love, but of course, it's only pushing them away further. I will try to help.
I suggest you start by doing all of the exercises described on this FAQ page. That will help you to understand your anger better, and develop a more positive relationship with yourself--but only if you use the tools.
I also suggest that you use these imagery processes for emotional healing, to address the trauma you experienced in the past. This is a way of nurturing your inner child, which is the best way to heal emotionally and develop self love.
You can do this. Make up your mind and set your good heart to the task, and you will succeed.
My very best to you,
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