Left Behind Because Of All Of The Abuse

by Emma

I often feel so lost and that makes me angry. My sixteen year old daughter complains that I often scream and correct her on things ( I must say this is an unnecessary situation).

I even get upset with my pastor and of course I make sure I walk up to him after the service is over to let him know he upset me. This I do with anyone who upsets me. Tell me Dr. DeFoore is this bad. I have a gut feeling it is.


As a child I was sexually and verbally abused. I got married at 24 and my husband physically and verbally abused me too. I often pray and really ask God to help me with this temper but it's so hard.

I have been a single parent for 6 years now I try to be a good mom but my daughter complains.

To top it off I was recently employed as a Counselor\Social Worker. I often feel I was left behind in my development because of all the abuse. Please help.

I have tried several online counselors but have not gotten a response.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Emma, and thanks for telling your story here. I will start with your first question, and go from there.

I encourage you to trust your gut feeling. Nobody likes to get critical or negative feedback, no matter how justified or accurate it may be. I will make some suggestions below that will give you better ways to express your feelings, while maintaining more positive relationships with others. Of course this will include some anger management exercises.

Start by doing all of the exercises on this FAQ page. These are powerful tools for anger management, and the more you use them the better they will work for you.

I also suggest you read this page on child abuse, and follow all of the recommendations you find there.

You have what you need to reach your goals, Emma. If the above resources don't get you to where you need to be, you might want to consider some counseling, which I offer by phone or Skype, if you're out of the area.

Make up your mind that you're going to be the good person you know you are inside.

You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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