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Is This Emotional Abuse?

by Louise
(Australia)

We have been together for a year, living together for the last month and a half. Since the first week he has been so angry. He comes home from work and asks me what house work I've done. I let him know then he goes and inspects it, and if the floor is a little dusty he says I didn't sweep and will call me a liar.


My friends, well..ex friends have turned their backs on me because of his jealousy and protectiveness. During the day he will call me up to 8 times. If I don't answer one of them he thinks I'm out with someone or I'm doing something behind his back.

He says I'm lazy, I'm a bludger because I don't work. (I have been diagnosed with cervical cancer, I'm going threw a lot of surgeries while studying nursing).

My mum use to treat him like one of her own, until she stepped into one of our arguments over something I wrote on my cousin's Facebook. Now my family is in another state and I'm here alone with him and his mood swings, which are becoming worse. Everyday this week he has come home angry, slamming the doors, screaming at me because I don't listen and punching his car window or the doors.

I don't know what to do. This is my first real relationship--are they meant to be this way?

I tried to leave him once, but he overdosed on Seroquel and I was guilted into staying. If I leave, I'll have his death over my head, and I wouldn't be able to handle that.

I'm feeling quiet stressed with how he is, and now my medical condition.

How do I handle this? What do I do? I can't tell my mum. I don't want her to be worried about me.




Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Louise, and thanks for telling your story here. You're in a tough situation. Living with your partner's anger, and afraid to leave for fear he may commit suicide is difficult to say the least.

And no, relationships are not supposed to be this way. You are in an extremely unhealthy relationship.

You've got what it takes to deal with this, Louise. You are being abused, harassed and threatened, and you are the only person who can set yourself free. You are not alone...meaning, many others have found themselves in similar situations. For that reason, I've written several pages on this site specifically designed to help in this situation.

I suggest that you read the following pages, and follow the recommendations that feel right to you how to deal with abusive relationships
battered wife syndrome.

You are worthy of respect, kindness and care, Louise. Do not accept anything less.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would click the "Like" button at the top left corner of this page.

Comments for Is This Emotional Abuse?

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Aug 30, 2011
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To Louise
by: Alice

Please, Louise in Australia, get away from this guy. I was married to someone who wanted to inspect my house-cleaning skills. It is a no-win situation. Your mother would much rather hear from you while you are ALIVE, then learning you didn't want to worry her! Don't be imprisoned by his threats of suicide. That is up to him and would NEVER be your fault. You have to handle your health. Cancer, I believe, is stress turned inwards. Please leave! Read up on how to leave safely. My prayers are with you.

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