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I'm In A New Marriage And I'm Having Anger Problems
I have been married for about two years. This is my second marriage. My first marriage ended because my ex-husband was dating someone else. Ever since, I have become a crying baby. Even the smallest joke that my husband cracks on me, makes me very uncomfortable and the situation becomes bad.
My current husband calls me an egotistical and proud woman. The situation mostly ends up with either him or me in anger. We always fight.
When I ask our closest friends, they always say my husband is overreacting. They never think I have any kind of ego or pride in me.
Last week my sister and her husband were visiting us. During a game we were playing, my husband started joking that I was cheating, which I was not. I become so angry that I hit him on his shoulder. Everyone, including me, was surprised at how violent I become.
Also I have been shouting a lot lately. I am not at peace with myself. I am two months pregnant right now and want my husband's support, but he never has any time to spend with me.
I don't know what to do. I know I am an extremely emotional person and have become angry on personal things in the past a few times. But it was never so frequent and to this high degree.
Please suggest to me what can I do to have peace with myself and those who are around.
Thanks in anticipation.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds to me like you are a good person, who wants to have more control over her anger. I think you could also benefit from some information about relationships.
I suggest you start by doing the journaling exercises described on this page. There are three exercises, one that helps you review your past, one that helps you contain and understand your anger, and one that helps you to shift your focus to the good in you and the world around you.
I also suggest you use these imagery processes for emotional healing, which will help you address any trauma you may have experienced in the past.
The bottom line to all of this is that you need to take care of yourself. It is always a good idea to improve your self esteem as a part of your anger management program.
Believe in yourself. Take excellent care of your body, mind and soul--when you care for yourself, you're caring for the mother of your child.
My very best to you,