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I'm Becoming Just Like My Dad

by AngryMamaBear
(MA)



I was raised by loving parents who gave lots of hugs and kisses and I love you’s. The problem was that deep down, I was never 100% sure if the I love you’s were 100% real or just obligatory.

This was because my dad also yelled a lot, and had extremely high standards. Even though I was being a totally straight edge, I could never seem to meet his standards.

He would sometimes throw things and get really scary when he was mad.

Well, guess what? I've become my dad. I hate it about myself, but I have.

I make sure every night that I tell my kids I love them, no matter what. I apologize if I yelled a lot or was rough with them or "scary mom." But I know it's not enough.

I need to stop my behavior, and I feel helpless to do so. I have ADD and anxiety. I'm so easily overwhelmed and can't filter distractions, and I get so irritable so easily.

I need help! I'm seeing a therapist, but it doesn't seem like enough. What do I do? I love my kids more than anything, why can't I be a better mother for them?




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Oct 24, 2017
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Some Possible Steps To Take
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi, and thanks for telling your story here. In answer to your question at the end, I think you definitely can become a better mother for your children.

You care enough to reach out for help here. You care enough that you've noticed how you are becoming more like your father. You care enough to go to therapy. This is all evidence that you are good inside, and that you can get better as a mother.

My main suggestion is that you focus on healing your emotional wounds from the past. You will find step by step guidelines on this page. Do all of the recommended exercises on a regular, ongoing basis, and you will start to get some good results.

And keep going...use these tools until you start to become very skilled with them, and until you're experiencing the benefit you're looking for.

Also, if you want to get some specific help and guidance re. your ADD and anxiety, simply enter either of those terms in the search box above, and you'll find the articles I've written.

Believe in yourself. Focus on that good person you are inside...that's your true self.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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