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I'm sixteen yrs old and I want help for my anger. I am an only child and I know part of my anger I get from my dad, the other part I don't know where it comes from.
I am depressed and I've seen counselors and have been put on depression pills. Nothing seems to work.
When I was fifteen I was involved with a twenty-three yr old. When that broke off and he went to prison. It killed me because he made me believe he loved me and I fell in love with him. I tried to overdose twice and I was also cutting my wrists. One day I was at school and just couldn't take anything anymore so I walked home and shot myself. I survived and I am thankful.
My parents and I have never had a great relationship. My dad and I are always butting heads because we're so much alike. My mom can just say one thing to me and it will set me off. My mom and I are constantly fighting and my anger is getting out of control. I'm always being hounded about my grades and to do better, but I'm not perfect!
I'm so much different than my parents and all the pushing to do better I can't handle. I'm always being told I'm a disappointment. I never hear I love you. I'm the type where I need to hear I love you once in a while. It hurts and I feel I can't talk to anyone.
When I get angry I leave my house because if I stay it will make me go crazy. I hate getting so angry because I really do feel crazy when I do get angry. I hate that feeling! If you can please help me I would really appreciate it.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Shantel, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell you've had a very hard time, and I'm glad you're asking for help even after all you've been through. There is help for you, and it's important that you stop hurting yourself. I was glad to read that you're thankful that you survived after shooting yourself.
You need to make friends with your anger, as strange as that seems. It will help you to calm down and not feel so crazy when you're mad. Follow my recommendations, and I think it will help you.
Start keeping an anger journal, as described on this page. This gives your anger somewhere safe to go, and it will be less likely to come out in the unhealthy ways. It will also help you understand your anger.
To deal with the trauma in your past, you can use the other two exercises to help you think through and process what happened.
Take a look at these imagery processes for emotional healing, and see if they might be helpful to you in your healing process. They help you to go back and revisit your memories with love and compassion for yourself.
Do this for yourself, Shantel. Be good to you.
My very best to you,
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