I'm 16 Years Old And Neglected By My Parents
I am 16 and I have a problem with my mum. Whenever we have a conversation we argue, and every time I try to explain something to her she always turns the story around to make me sound dumb and immature.
Mum and the whole family have been ignoring me and making me feel like I don't exist the past month because they think I'm going through teenage hormones. But it's not just the hormones. My brother got engaged to this girl who moved in with us and ever since she moved in it's like all they do is pay attention to her and my 'brother. When it comes to me they don't even ask how my day was. I haven't had a proper conversation with them for a month, and I don't really want to.
I don't want to tell them why I'm upset because they will just change the story around and make themselves look good and make me look like a little immature sulking teen. Yet they don't understand. They think I'm jealous of the attention that they give to my brother and his fiance, but really its not that. It's that they do everything together, go out, have normal conversation and leave me out. And they joke about me and make me sound stupid but really they are the ones who are immature.
I feel like I'm going depressed. The anger is building up and I don't know how to release it. They leave me out, they don't treat me equally to everyone else and they don't pay any attention to me. I feel like I'm not part of the family. Can you please help me find a way to get rid of this anger so I can have my life back?
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Alison, and thanks for telling your story here. You have good reason to feel everything you feel. What you describe happens in a lot of families, where some are favored over others. It always hurts. But I know your question is how to deal with the anger. I will try to help.
I suggest you start by telling your story, as described here. Then go on and do the anger journaling on that same page to give your anger a safe and healthy outlet.
Then use the positive journaling exercise to focus on the good things in you and the world around you. The idea here, Alison, is to shift your focus from the negative stuff that's happening in your family to the good things in your life. Focus on the friends that you have that you like, and that make you feel good.
We are all responsible for the life we create, and there is no better time than now for you to start taking responsibility so that you can exercise the freedom that will follow.
You are a good person, focus on that as you create and imagine the life you want to live.
My very best to you,
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