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I Quit My Job Due To My Boss' Anger Issues

by Scott
(Delaware, OH, USA)

I used to work for a pump company. I worked there for over six years with no real issues or problems. My boss loved me. But I had seen him go off on others in the office and act very unprofessionally toward both employees and customers many times. He yelled at me once and I immediately put him in his place. He seemed to respect and favor me after that instance. This, however, did not last. I made the mistake of becoming friends with him outside of work, and that cost me my job.

Toward the end of my career at this company, my boss came to me with his marital problems. I agreed to help him find an apartment and helped him move there once he found one he liked. After being the top employee there for six years, this one instance of being nice and helping him bit me hard.

After moving out from his wife, they made up and the wife completely blamed me for the separation. She owned 1/2 the company and wanted my boss to fire me.

He started yelling at me and blaming me for things that I had no part in at all, work wise. He would cuss at me and he would throw things around his office when talking to me. This went on for weeks and I would just stand there and say that I knew this was his wife and not him talking and treating me this way. He would cry and agree and we would make up. After about a month of this, I heard from the other guys at work that he was going to fire me. I decided to quit to save my pride.

I learned from this that someone with anger issues will eventually turn on you, even if you think they are your friend. I have never gotten personally involved with any co-workers since this happened. I learned my lesson the hard way.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Great story, Scott. You're right, we do have to protect ourselves from other people's anger. Healthy boundaries come from really loving yourself enough to protect yourself from abusive behavior. It sounds like you handled this well, although it did cost you your job. Hopefully you will find yourself better off for all this, down the road.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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