I Have So Much Anger Toward My Brother
Hi, I'm Shannon I've had intense anger towards one of my brothers for a long time. When I was around 4, I can't be certain, and he must of been around 10, he, you could say 'experimented' with me sexually.
I did tell me mother at the time and she put it down to hormones and told him police would be involved if it ever happened again, and it was never talked about again.
As I got older my brother got into the wrong crowd and started fighting and using drugs. When I was around 10 my mum was diagnosed with bipolar and things went from bad to worse.
My other brother who is 3 yrs older than me was always there for me and my mum, and was amazing. We have a great relationship. But I have so much anger directed at my other brother for everything he has put my family through.
The things I have witnessed because of him, the numerous violent attacks in his bedroom when he's been drunk and battered his 'mates,' when I had to call the police and had an asthma attack. He's never helped my mum through her illness and has left it to me and his younger brother while he's been out partying.
I just have so much anger towards him and it's taking over. I don't know what to do. I'm scared I'm gonna do something bad one of these days. He only has to walk into the same room and my anger boils.
I just don't know what to do. Sorry for ranting.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Shannon, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds like you have good reason for everything you feel. I know the anger is really bothering you, though. I will try to help.
I suggest that you follow all of the steps on this FAQ page to understand and heal your anger. That will include writing the story of the sexual abuse by your brother, which is obviously for your eyes only. It also includes some healing imagery processes that will really help you if you use them.
These are powerful and effective tools, Shannon. They only help if you use them, however. If you put the effort into the exercises, I think it will help you.
Another part of those exercises will be "anger journaling," where you let your anger come out in your writing. This gives it a safe, appropriate place to be, where it won't stay in you, and it won't cause problems in your life.
In the imagery, you will have a chance to go back in your memory, and rescue that little girl (you) that was molested. In other words, Shannon, you have the capacity to heal this yourself.
Believe in yourself, and your natural self-healing ability. You are worthy of a very good life with healthy relationships.
My very best to you,
P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.
P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would click the "Like" button at the top left corner of this page.