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I Feel Like I Should Just Get Over It

by Bianca
(Austin, Tx, US)

OK so a quick overview of my past: My mom was abusive and neglectful to me and my 4 other siblings. I guess she was that way because her mother was abusive--the apple not falling far from the tree.

Anyway, I'm 21, I have a son and I'm just recently married. But the problem is that me and my husband fight all the time especially when we go out in public. It's lik when we are out trying to have a family outing some thing makes me really upset and I start to get mad at my husband and yelling this, that and another thing. So we always leave early.

I don't know why but I am always mad at him and make excuses to say he is at fault. But I know the truth is, it's my fault always. Every time he tries to take me shopping I get mad over the littlest things, like I don't like the clothes in this store and we leave.

Or when I have to hold all his bags (he is quite the shopper), and chase him around the stores with my big stroller and all these bags. So we end up leaving as always.

Me and my husband have a few disagreements when raising the child--like when baby boy won't sleep in his bed I let him sleep with me in my bed. My husband thinks he should sleep in his own bed so I get really upset and we fight til my husband leaves and I put my son in my bed to sleep with me.

I have a short fuse and my husband knows that and I fell like some times he is just pushing my buttons in a very inconspicuous way so that when I blow up he can say that I'm just overreacting and that he did nothing wrong.

But at the same time I shouldn't be getting all mad over little things.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Bianca, and thanks for telling your story here. I greatly respect your willingness to take responsibility for your anger, and not blaming your husband or anyone else. That reflects integrity and character in you, and that's a very good thing.

I think if you follow all of the recommendations on this FAQ page, and do all of the exercises, you will start to feel better. I think you will also begin to understand why you're so angry, and that understanding will help.

You're not a bad person, even though you don't like your anger reactions and your behavior at times.

Believe in yourself, Bianca. Focus on the good person you know you truly are inside, and that is who you will become.

You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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