I Don't Know How To Tell My Parents
(New York )
My name is Paula and I am 12 years old. I am writing to you because I feel I need anger management classes, but don't know how to tell my parents.
This started about a month ago and I'd thought it would go away, but it actually got worse. I don't really know how to tell my parents that I'm feeling this way, or anybody really.
Most of the time I feel like bursting out screaming or hitting someone but, I hold it all in because I don't want to hurt anyone. Sometimes I am mean in my house.. I don't want to, but I just am.
I ignore my family. Sometimes I also really really want to hurt them. I hold it in but it's not doing anything. My head just hurts and I'm sometimes up all night. I get mad all the time for little unnecessary things and sometimes I don't even know why.
I argue with my mom in the morning a lot. I argue and argue until I get my point through to her, but while I'm doing that I have bad thoughts in my head.
I don't like being told what to do, and that gets me mad even if it's like "pass me that pen." I usually can't let things go.
Please help. I don't like feeling this way and don't know how to tell my parents.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Paula, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell that you are a very bright girl, and it seems to me also that you have a lot of emotional energy--and although that's a problem for you right now, I think it's also a good thing.
I'm going to suggest some things that will help you to understand and release your anger, and begin feeling better about yourself. After doing some of this, if you still feel the need to tell your parents and perhaps take anger management classes, it will be easier for you to do so.
Start by doing this trauma writing process, and at the same time doing the other two exercises on the page. You write very well, so I hope you'll really do this--I think it will help you. The idea here is that the answers and the healing you need are within you.
After doing the above exercises for a couple of weeks, start this positive journaling process. This will help you to feel better about yourself and your world, which will bring you comfort and help you with your anger as well.
Believe in yourself, Paula. You're a good person, and there is good reason for your anger. You will figure this out.
As you heal and progress, I expect that you will learn to channel your strong emotional energy into a passion to fulfill your dreams and offer your unique gifts to this world.
My very best to you,
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