I Am The Abuser And I Want To Change

by Daniel
(Orange County, CA)

I have been in a relationship with the woman I love for a year now. We have moved in together, we have a car in both our names for a 6 year loan.


I love her, and lately she has been feeling bad about herself and has been told by her family that I was the abuser. I am wanting to change. I said things in a negative way towards her and I should never have said those things.

I never used to be this way until roughly 3 years ago when the mother of my child slept around and we separated because I could not be in a relationship like that. 2 years ago my daughter was born, and a year ago my girlfriend I got together.

We have grown to love each other with all our hearts and raise my daughter as a couple. My daughter thinks of her as her mother and calls her momma.

My girlfriend is not certain if she wants to be in the relationship and fix it anymore because of the past with me. I called her names such as fat, and said she was gaining weight and needs to lose it, needs to stop eating candy, get healthier.

I would have a GPS on her because I was afraid of what would happen if I was not around. I trust she won’t do anything with anyone else but I always feared the worst. I also developed a case of separation anxiety and that did not help my situation.

I have friends and family supporting my recovery and encourage her and I to remain as a couple. I am not sure if I need to end the relationship to protect her, take a break, or stick through it and change.

I need some professional help and advice. Please, I beg of you, help me, because I know in my heart I love this woman. I am ready to change.