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I grew up in a family with a lot of hate and love. I don't know which one is more. My parents' marriage is not a marriage anymore (maybe because it's so many years. But my mom totally hates my dad.
Anyhow I have a 5 year older brother. My brother is most calm in my family. My mom is a perfectionist, so basically she has a problem with everyone who is not perfect. My dad has anger issues, as he used to beat up my mom.
We all live together. I am a med student.
Life's pretty good except when I get angry, and this is usually on my mum or brother. There is some verbal abuse and physical violence, that sometimes I use for my protection, as generally people hit back when you hit them.
As for anger, boy I have a lot of anger and negative thoughts, but I never thought of hurting someone or me. And after 20 min or so after an anger episode I am all calm and embarrassed. My mum usually cries.
Needless to say the guilt is killing me, to an extent that I started thinking lately that I am going to hell. I know this is serious and I know I need help.
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