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Hi Doctor. My name is Alyssa. I am a very angry person. I get mad or annoyed at just about everything.
Everything pisses me off. I pick fights with my girlfriend and my best friend who is her brother. I wake up irritated, I go to bed irritated.
I do not like being mad all the time. I go to the grocery store, I storm by people who are walking slow, I bitch, I complain. I am a horror to be around.
My anger is causing a real problem with me and the people I love. My father and mother both have anger issues. My mother is bipolar and my father has the worst temper. I have always been short tempered. I have no patience at all.
Help me. I don't want to be angry anymore.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Alyssa, and thanks for telling your story here. I want you to consider that the reason you don't want to be angry any more is that the anger does not represent who you really are. It is, however, a very strong pattern that has been reinforced throughout your life, set in place by example from your parents.
I will offer some help here, but consider that you may also need some counseling. The exercises I recommend are all "do-it-yourself" steps, and that may not be enough for you...but then maybe it will be. That is for you to decide.
Start by doing all of the exercises you find described on this FAQ page. These are powerful tools, and if you have the focus and committment to use them regularly, as recommended, I think you will benefit.
Then I suggest that you do the exercises described here, in order to release yourself from the influence of your parents.
Keep in mind that these processes are usually provided with the guidance and support of a counselor, which greatly increases their effectiveness. Please contact me if you would like to know more about anger management counseling.
Believe in yourself, Alyssa, and the goodness inside you that makes you want to be free of the anger. You can do this. You can reach your goals. Make up your mind to be the kind of person you choose to be, and never give up.
My very best to you,
P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.
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