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I Am Angry And This Is Really Not Like Me

by Anonymous

I always feel angry. I sometimes get little urges just to punch somebody in the face, even if it's my mother, brother, sister or even a stranger. It can be a big man, small man, woman, anybody.

I have never actually done it but I'm getting urges to. I am tense and uncomfortable around people and I am so angry with everyone. I shout with aggression when I get annoyed. That puts fear into people of their safety, I am becoming violent in my body language and words. I feel like it's getting worse.

I have never been like this in my life. I've always been told I was so kind loving and caring before my dad died. I've had a senior management job and when my boss made me angry I told him to shove it and I left.

I get so angry when I'm driving if somebody comes out in front of me or something trivial like that I just want to go out and kill them. I drive fast on my motorbike and drive through red lights not caring if a car hits me. What is wrong with me? This is not me.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds like your anger may be a result of unresolved grief over your father's death. I have seen this many times in my career, where grief turns into anger.

Your situation is serious, particularly because you're threatening your own life and possibly the lives of others (with your driving on your motorbike). I strongly encourage you to follow all of the steps of the grieving process you will find described on this page. I really don't think you can bypass this step in dealing with your anger, from what you've written here.

I do also suggest that you use the exercises on this FAQ page to deal more successfully with your anger--but please do the grieving process first, or simultaneously.

Do this for yourself...your life may depend on it.

You are worth it. Believe in yourself.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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