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My name is Samantha and my husband and I have been married for nine years. In January of this year, my step son come to live with us because of abuse and neglect from his mom.
Apparently, this had been going on for years but he was told that if he said anything to anyone he would never be able to see any of his family again because he would be put in foster care. Kody just turned twelve and he can be a wonderful kid when it is a one on one setting, but there are four other kids that are with us on a regular basis.
I know that he has a lot of issues on the inside, but he won't talk to anybody about what he feels. He has a major attitude problem, problem with trying to bully other kids, hates being told what to do, sarcastic, hits things, people, animals, and himself.
We have tried sitting down with him to talk about what's going on with him and why he should not do some of the things that he does but he says he doesn't care and ignores everyone. We have tried different techniques of punishment like time out, losing personal items, grounding, chores, spanking, and nothing seems to work.
I am really at my wit's end with him and am not sure what to do. Please Help.
No one else wants to be around him or take him anywhere with them because of the lack of respect that he has for other people and because he seems to be a bad influence on other kids.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Samantha, and thanks for telling your story here. I think it's great that you care so much about your step son, and that you express so much compassion for him in spite of his bad behavior. I can tell you're a good person, and Kody is fortunate to have you in his life.
I suggest that you read the following page, where I think you'll find the help and guidance you need:
Parenting teenagers with anger problems
I know you will find and utilize the best resources from this and other pages on this site. This is not easy, but you can do it.
My very best to you,
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