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He Only Wanted A Green Card & Now He Left Me

by Sara

I was in a great relationship with a guy I met through graduate school. He came here from another country with the intention of finding a job and getting married. He wasn't sure about a relationship so I waited patiently for him to be sure.

Finally, he was sure about it and we started dating. Everything was so amazing for the most part. Little did I know that he had issues with me that I did not know about. Once we got engaged, I realized all of these issues that he had with me when he demanded I sign a prenup. He did not have any money or assets. He did not trust me.

Eventually, he got fed up with the issues he had with me. I tried to change, but the change did not come fast enough. He dumped me. I thought that I could get him back.

I didn't understand how you could go from wanting to marry someone in June to dumping them in August. It didn't make sense to me. The only thing I could think of is that he never really loved me and was just trying to get a green card.

I feel like I dodged a bullet, but I am so angry about it. I feel that I gave everything to our relationship only to get completely burned. I relocated to a new city that we were supposed to be living in together. He stayed behind.

I tried to get him to come back to me but he has refused. He led me on for a while saying that we could work it out and get back together, but something changed and he decided he's completely over me. Now he won't take my calls or anything.

He has completely cut me out of his life and I'm miserable. I am in a new place with no friends and having to just live with all of the pain I feel every day. He has turned his whole family against me and blamed me for the demise of our relationship. He’s saying it's all my fault and he wants nothing to do with me. I want to get his parents deported back to Europe. They are here illegally and they hate me. Why do they deserve to be in this country, and their son is here and just completely destroyed me?

I will do anything to take this pain away. I feel equally as miserable as I did the day we broke up. I don't know what to do.

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Dec 22, 2015
You Were Right About Dodging A Bullet
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Sara - In your own words, you "dodged a bullet" by avoiding that marriage. But now, you're having trouble letting go, and your attachment to him is not doing you any good at all.

The only resolution for you is to focus on yourself, taking care of yourself, and making up your mind to only enter into relationships in which you are loved and respected.

Pursuing this relationship, or revenge toward his family will only bring you further misery. Learn about letting go of a relationship, and make up your mind to focus on creating a happy healthy life for yourself...which you could never have had with your ex-fiance.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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