Feeling Trapped In The Car And My Spouse Begins Irritating Discussion
I believe I have depression. I have tried some prescriptions with medical professionals, most didn't seem to work. One gave me uncontrollable shakes, and I thankfully got off that one.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and have issues with my spouse. One current problem--I will be in the car with my spouse, and I feel "trapped" as we drive to the place we both need to be, by choice. My spouse will start a discussion or ask questions on sensitive problem topics, such as finances.
If I tell my spouse I have no answers, and say that since we are in the car, I have no references to show, explain, etc. Then my spouse gets demanding, wanting answers anyway. I try to respond by saying since we are in the car, I cannot answer, etc. and do not wish to have the discussion.
If I raise my voice, (which I cannot usually hear myself doing), my spouse tells me I'm getting angry. I agree, however, I feel "trapped" in the car, and feel I am "validating" my right to live.
My spouse has told me I behave like a grade-schooler having a temper tantrum.
How can I just keep quiet? Is there another way to respond? I also usually do not remember exactly what I say when I feel that angry.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I know it must feel really bad to feel "trapped" in the car, not knowing what to do to resolve the issues with your spouse.
I suggest that you start by following the recommendations on this page entitled dealing with depression. That will help you to review some of your past experiences and see if you can get to some of the causes of your depression.
If you feel that anger is more of an issue, or if you just would prefer to work on the anger, do the three-part journaling process described on this page.
From your writing and how you express yourself, it seems to me that you could really benefit from following the recommendations I've made. These are tools, and the more you use them the better they work for you.
Believe in yourself, and hold a vision of a happy. healthy future marriage and life for yourself.
My very best to you,