Fear Turning Into Rage
I am a 36 year old mother of three children 8 year old son, 5 year old son, and 3 year old daughter. I love being a mom, and think I am pretty good at it.
However, about 2 years ago, I started a small business. It was just myself, and one other person providing services to the public. Well, it grew quickly, and 8 months ago, I had the opportunity to go even larger, and I took it. Virtually overnight, I went from working for myself to being an employer to 8-10 people.
Everything started out great, but the last 3 months have been getting progressively worse. My clients have all but dried up, everyone is so frightened about money and the economy, I have laid off most of my staff, and I am behind on the rent of my building, and my payroll.
I feel like a total failure. My biggest fear is having to close my doors, and walk away with nothing. I put everything into this business, and I don't know how I would handle this in my mind. The stress of being on the verge is effecting my health, (my hair is falling out, I can't sleep, I am in pain often) and what is worrying me the most is how much the fear and anxiety are turning into rage.
I will for no reason fly off the handle with my kids, and it scares them. I feel as though my whole life is crumbling, and no matter what I do, it keeps crumbling. My husband is very supportive, and keeps telling me that hard work doesn't go unrewarded, but I am so scared for mine and my family's future.
I need help, before I end up losing everything, my sanity as well. Thoughts of ending my own life have come into my thinking often as well.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I think the best thing that you could do at this point is to try to shift your mental focus. This will help you with your anger control, and it could also help you with your business.
I suggest you do all three journaling processes you find on this page. The third one is a positive journaling process, which is where you will put your long term emphasis. The first two help you to clear the negativity that is clouding your vision and causing your fear and anger.
This will also help you to believe in yourself as a person, which is essential to being the parent you want to be, and to success in business.
You can do this. You can come through this a stronger, smarter person, if you make up your mind that that is what you're going to do.
My very best to you,
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