Now Available! Dr. DeFoore's New Book GOODFINDING
(Menomonee Falls, WI, USA)
Hello, I am a 17 year old girl with a 15 year old brother (let's call him D) who has severe anger issues. I plan to go to college for 4-6 years, but I am afraid that something will happen in my absence, indirectly or directly being D's fault.
Usually, it's just verbal abuse, but when it's really bad and out of control, he starts to get physical. Most of his verbal abuse is downgrading towards both me and our mom. He calls me fat, lazy, ugly etc. but lately it's been more towards Mom. He calls her worthless, selfish, fat, lazy and worse than the deadbeat father who left him.
He thinks that her crying from what he said is a guilt trip to get people to do what she wants. But it's not. Our mother is raising us on her own, suffering from her own major health problems. We help around the house most of the time, but sometimes he retaliates, saying that he shouldn't have to do the chores a parent should be doing. Usually, resulting in an argument about responsibilities, D ends up making Mom cry.
One time not that long ago, he got severely mad over something petty. So basically, he gets paid from our landlord to snow blow. The landlord left the money in the door, and D wasn't home yet, so I put it on Mom's bedside table. Well, he comes in all macho-like saying, "Where's my money?" After me and Mom say that it's here he insists she give it to him.
After Mom saying no over and over (with good reason), he decides to just walk in there and take it, like he owns the place. Now Mom is a big stickler on privacy and personal space and such, therefore she hates it when people walk in as they please. So then, Mom gets angry and demands D to give it back.
A respectful child wouldn't have taken it in the first place, but would've given it back sooner than later right? Not D. He gets all red and gives her the meanest glare a mother should not have to see from her child. One with pure hatred, like he wants her out of his life. Dead.
From that point on, they go back and forth about how “it’s his money not hers” and how “he’s the child, and she’s the adult.” Then, (it’s one of her bad days) after yelling for so long, she screams (literally) at him and says that she doesn't feel good and can't take this stress right now and tells him to give her the money.
He doesn't care. He just gets in her face and yells back about how she should’ve just given it to him in the first place. Escalating, she wanted to hit him (who wouldn’t) but only threatens to. Doesn't actually do it. He taunts her saying things like “go ahead,” “do it,” and “make sure you leave a mark so you go to jail,” (or something along those lines, I don't remember exactly).
Well to shorten this up, he basically starts to get all in her face, like less than an inch away and she tells him to back the f**k up, slightly pushing him by the shoulders, towards his room, telling him he needs to cool down. As I’ve been there the whole time, trying to get in between them, I literally pull him by his shirt collar and try to pull him away from her. I don't succeed, ending up with a black eye.
In my split second of darkness, Mom ends up on the floor at the top of the stairs, shaking with her sobs. I don't remember what happened, but I got up to stop him from advancing towards her anymore. (I think he felt bad for a millisecond because he opened his arms as if to help her get up), but I pushed him away from her asking him whether he really wants her dead and whether he really wants to go live with his deadbeat piece of crap father. He says it’s better than here, with the glare I mentioned before aimed at me. Pure resentment.
Comments for Fear For The Future
Click here to add your own comments
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Anger Management Counseling.