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Family Vacation Gone Wrong

by Elise

On December 26, 2014 we all packed up the car at 5 in the morning and left on our 12 hour drive. We had planned to go to Salt Lake City to see the lights on Temple Square.

The following Monday we were to leave and go to Brigham Young University where I had planned to attend the semester after I graduate. That night when we arrived, we were all tired. My sister and I were up late talking. At 1 am we finally went to bed.

At 4:30am, my mother fell out of bed while reaching for candy. We woke up again at 7am. My father, sister, and I all took showers. We then proceeded on waking my mother to get her in the shower.

When she wouldn't react to us playing with her feet, my dad got worried. He turned her over and we all saw that her face was blue. Immediately we all tried to check for a pulse.

My mother was a nurse and we were all trained in CPR. My father ran down to the front desk of the hotel. My sister and I tried to do the methods of waking a person up when they have stopped breathing. With tears and weak muscles we tried all we could do.

Some bystanders came into our room and tried to help us do CPR. My sister waited in the hall for the paramedics to arrive. We were on the phone with the 911 operators at that time, and they were giving us directions. My sister yelled when the paramedics arrived and ushered them into the room.

It felt like hours but it had only been 10-15 minutes before the head paramedic came in and said he was sorry for our loss. I had been praying really hard that they would be able to save her. I didn't understand what the chief guy meant. I thought he was saying that and they took her to the hospital and it was all going to be alright. Then I understood. We started calling people, and it really sunk in when my father called my grandmother to tell her the news.

I knew of a friend who was visiting her children and grandchildren in Utah not far away. I gave her a call and she came as soon as she could. My aunt who lived 4 hours away packed up the car and started driving towards us.

We were able to stay with my friend’s daughter for the weekend until things could be straightened out. It was a mess. On our last day there, we went and spent the day in Temple Square.

It was so pretty when the lights came on. That was also the hardest time. My mom had wanted to see them and now she wasn't with us to see them. I know she was there in spirit, but not physically. It has been 2 short months and I still remember every detail.

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Feb 28, 2015
My Condolences To You
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Elise

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. Especially in such a shocking and unexpected way. As you know, you're very early in the grieving process. Be gentle with yourself, and do not allow anyone to push you into what they think you should be feeling.

You may still be in emotional shock from what happened. That's why your mind is remembering every detail, trying to fully comprehend and accept what happened. Trust your mind and heart to heal, and they will.

Everyone grieves in their own way, but there are some things we do need to understand and honor about the grieving process. Be sure and read and follow the recommendations on the stages of grief page, and that will help you.

Remember that grieving is about love. Your grief is deep because of your love for your mother. Always keep your focus on that love, and you will progress.

Again, my condolences to you and your family.

My best to you in your healing process,

Dr. DeFoore

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