Everything Is Going Wrong
(Kolkata . India)
I am Amrita, a 22 year old lady having a relationship with my boyfriend, but I am not satisfied. He is my junior, 20 years old. He loves me so much.
I had a 5 year relationship but at last I did break up because my ex boyfriend betrayed me a lot of times. I got depressed and took a job at a call centre.
There was also a financial problem. I was planning to do my master's degree but it got broken because my dad attempted to suicide. I got fed up to work at the call centre because every day after awaking up I had to hear the abusive language of customers, and lots of work pressure.
I forgot to give time for myself. After the office, dating with boyfriend or talking on phone, I was tired and went to sleep. That is what I did everyday. After that I took decision not to go to office. Now I am doing nothing.
I forget to write my feelings, paint, and everything that I used to do previously to make me feel happy. I think I am good for nothing, showing anger on everyone without any reason. I don't know why I am here, what I am doing or why. I am feeling so frustrated.
I did not get what I wanted, even still it's going on. I still contact my ex boyfriend, feeling jealous of his new girlfriend. He has no feeling for me. He chose a rich girlfriend. He left me because I was not rich and I could not make him satisfied in sexual life.
My present boyfriend doesn't know all this clearly. But now I afraid about my present relationship. We did sex but I don't know was he satisfied or not. The anger problem my father also has. Sometimes I think of suicide.
Tell me how can I overcome all this? I forget to believe in myself and other people. I think whatever I did in my life, everything is wrong. Even friends, boyfriend, job, study, everything.
My parents even don't understand me. They always underestimate me, the same as my boyfriend.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Amrita, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds like you really want to overcome your current problems and depression. You say that you forgot to take care of yourself and believe in yourself. That's good that you realize that, and now I'm sure you're ready to begin making some changes.
It is time for you to start doing all of those things that help you to feel good about yourself again. No one can come and do this for you. You are worth it.
Begin your writing, painting and self care again, and do it daily. Also, do all three of the journaling processes on this page. This will help you to understand yourself, express your anger, and shift your focus to the good things in your life.
Read this page on self love, and follow the recommendations.
Believe in yourself, and follow all of these recommendations, and you will feel better slowly and surely.
My very best to you,