Angry Situationship Girl

by Angry Girl
(Fulton, Texas )

Anger Addiction Cycle

Please forgive my grammar and punctuation in advance. I’ll give the short version of this story.

This is a typical boy meets girl story, where girl (me) ends up heartbroken and crying in a hotel. Boy explains he just never developed the “feelings” and cuts off all contact with girl after a year of on/off dating. About three months later, boy begins appearing on social media with the girl he “picked.”

The smart thing for girl to do in this situation is to move on, but, she doesn’t. She cries, falls into a deep depression, and then ruminates over boy’s new found happiness. Well, after a couple of weeks, girl is no longer sad - she is seething enough to do some pretty nasty things, directly and indirectly, to the new happy couple. These things would include nasty comments on their handle, etc.

This makes girl feel ok for a few moments but the calm never lasts. This, of course, all comes to a head with girl vs boy. Boy tries to apologize but is outraged, girl makes a very real threat against boy’s livelihood with some information she found out during their conversation. Boy goes away.

Girl is still angry and often fantasizes about following through on said threat. It’s been almost three months since their last conversation and girl still wants revenge.

Help.

Thanks.

Angry Situationship Girl

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Sep 25, 2019
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Look Inward
by: Anonymous

You are not doing yourself any good in the downward spiral of your negative and toxic thinking. You need to understand that this is life and that nothing is guaranteed.

You cannot force someone to like you because you like them. Do you really think that would work anyway? This person was honest with you and told you his feelings weren't growing in that direction. He was respectful. He is entitled to date whoever he wants just as you are.

Stop focusing on him already and get out there and make positive good things happen for yourself and in your life. Get over it and move on. He is not the one you are supposed to be with. Someone that wants to be with you "is."

It's ok to hurt, acknowledge your feelings and chalk it up to experience, but you should not look to seek revenge on anyone for any reason. Life hurts us all the time for different reasons. We need to work through our emotions and not act on them no matter which direction they go in if they are doing harm to others or oneself.

Your thought process and behavior is something you need to look inward to work on. I hope you mature and realize we all don't get our way all the time and that's ok too. Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise for something "better" to come along.

Go to a counselor if you don't have the tools to manage on your own. Grow emotionally and spiritually so you are giving your best self to the right guy/relationship. Stop dwelling- it's very unhealthy. Peace be with you.

Sep 23, 2019
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How To Break The Cycle
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Angry Situationship Girl. By the way, I like your title...very creative and original.

I know this is no fun for you. Something inside you wants to make things right, and it seems that revenge, making them pay, would help...but as you have already discovered, it might help for a brief moment, but it doesn't last.

The desire for revenge is natural, but primitive. You can do better than that. If we interviewed a sample of people in prison, we'd hear a lot of revenge stories. That's obviously not where you want to end up.

There are a number of good ways to break the anger/revenge cycle, if you're willing to make the effort. You'll find step by step guidelines in this article that I wrote for smart people like you who feel stuck in their anger.

The tools in that article are powerful, and they work...but only if you use them enough to develop some skills in taking responsibility for your own emotions. It's up to you what you do next.

I have a feeling that you're the kind of person who might just try this. I hope it helps you.

I wish you all the best on your way to feeling some peace inside.

Dr. DeFoore

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