These anger management skills cover the full spectrum of what you need. Learn about all of the verbal and nonverbal communication skills you need to manage your own anger and deal with the anger of those around you in healthy, productive ways.
Body Language Says It All
Nonverbal communication is 93% of the message you're sending when you communicate with others. So, even when you think you're hiding your anger, it is probably coming through in ways you don't know about.
These anger management techniques will help you become conscious of your subconscious processes, so that you can be more aware of the nonverbal messages you're sending.
We are verbal creatures, we read, write and listen to dialogue in tv shows, movies and conversations. And words matter.
So let's look at some verbal skills you can use for anger control and developing healthy anger. We'll look at writing exercises first, then move on to spoken communication:
- Anger journaling--This is simply a process of "letting your anger speak" without judgment or criticism from you. This honors the healthy aspects of your anger by giving it expression, but it does not come out in a way that causes harm. Learn more about this skill here.
- Other forms of journaling--It is also very helpful to heal the causes of your anger with trauma writing, and learn to redirect your thoughts in a positive direction with Goodfinding journaling.
- Spoken communication--We'll look at the verbal anger management skills in three different types of relationships:
For couples--We have an entire communication process for couples to use in conflict resolution and healthy, respectful communication on tough issues. These skills require practice and patience, but if you use them and get good at them, they will really help.
For children--It really helps to know what to say to children when they're angry, so that you don't shame, stifle or punish them while setting limits and boundaries. Search this site with the term, "child anger" to learn more.
For teens--Teens are more verbal than small children, so the words matter even more here. Here are the guidelines you need to know what to say to an angry teen to help them feel understood, and to hopefully calm down.
Learn empathy skills--Empathy is essential to each of these types of relationships, to keep the connection strong and positive. Without empathy, there will be no real communication.
Nonverbal Anger Management Skills
As important as words are, nonverbal processes are even more important. We'll start with some very powerful imagery techniques, then move on to nonverbal communication skills.
Imagery for anger release--These are skills that allow you to use the power of your own brain to diffuse your own anger. Create an exaggerated image in your mind of someone or something giving full and complete expression to your anger. It can be like smoke leaving your body, or a tornado ripping across a field, or "the hulk" wrecking a building. Avoid violence toward people or animals in this process. Make your image big and powerful enough to match the anger you feel, then imagine it dissipating, getting smaller, and going away.
Imagery for healing--This is a powerful set of tools designed to help you actually communicate with your subconscious mind for the purpose of emotional healing. Find a full description of this process by doing a search on this site for "imagery" using the search box at the top of this page.
Imagery for behavior rehearsal--Here is where you actually practice new behaviors in your mind. In other words, you mentally rehearse good anger control in an upcoming stressful situation, for example.
Nonverbal communication skills--Here is an overview of these anger management skills. It is good to be aware of these, and to practice them in a relaxed, easy manner. They can't be forced--you have to feel them, in order for them to be believable.
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