Now Available! Dr. DeFoore's New Book GOODFINDING
(Coriscana, TX, Navarro)
My name is Summer and I am 29 years old. I have been with my husband for 6 years and I have 4 beautiful kids that are 7,6,3, and 15 months. I have always had a good family background and been happy in my younger life. I always love being around family and friends.
Within the last year everything seems to have gone downhill with my attitude and anger management. I have been confronted by my husband and my kids about this and have always thought they were taking it over the edge.
I have actually been watching myself lately and I do have a problem. Anything from one of my kids spilling something to my husband asking me what time is it will set me off. I am depressed and can't figure out why or what has changed in my life to make me that way except for the little bit of weight I have gained.
I am ruining my marriage and my kids by yelling at them. I realize my mistakes after it is too late and all the apologizing isn't getting me anywhere. I need help and have no insurance or money to go to a professional counselor about my problem.
I am asking this from you to help with my life before something more serious comes of this situation like a divorce. I love my family and just want us to be happy. My kids deserve a lot more than they are getting from me. They are my heart and soul and I would do anything for them.
I am tired of always catching myself yelling for no reason or getting an attitude for no reason. Please can you help me in this situation.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Summer, and thanks for telling your story here. I respect how you're taking responsibility for your problems, and your anger and depression. That puts you way ahead of the game.
Start by doing the anger journaling described on this page. This will help you to vent your anger (not on others) and it will help you to understand it better. Your anger has a reason for being there, and you need to know what that is and respond. What is your anger saying?
If you have any trauma in your past at all, even the slightest bit, do the trauma writing journaling (same page) to get that out where you can look at it. Then use these imagery processes for emotional healing to resolve that trauma.
Finally, and perhaps most important of all, do the positive journaling described on the same page, to shift your focus to the good things in you and your life.
You're obviously a good person, Summer. Focus on that goodness inside you, and take good care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, and take quiet time for yourself. This will make you more loving to your family. You may be working too hard to please others and ignoring yourself.
Be good to yourself, Summer. Do all of the above exercises and learn to get your thinking right, and you'll feel much better.
My very best to you,
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