Am I Provoking My Angry Husband?

by Vivian
(Fresno , CA)

My husband and I have been married for 22 yrs. He is my best friend, provider, and a great father.

However, in the years we've been married I've seen him having many anger issues. Although I'm not perfect and maybe provoke arguments, when that side of him comes out it is scary.


He has never hit me, but he has thrown things, hit the walls, and called me names during his rage. There is no stopping him until he decides it’s over.

These episodes are not daily but once to three times a year. So I never know if an argument will end up in one of his crazy angry breakouts.

I have also seen him angry at strangers when he goes off, or if someone takes his parking spot. He never gets physical but he’s verbally abusive.

He always says he's sorry, especially to our kids. He is open to getting help, which he has done in the past when I tell him I will leave him. He's gone to anger management and we have gone to couples therapy but that was long ago.

He did say he was going to get help but he never followed up on it. At this point I’m questioning our marriage. I’m also wondering if I need to better myself, so don't provoke him to this point.

I'm so confused but tired of this. Please help me.