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Hi. My name is Sarah. I'm a mother of a 19 month old girl and have another child due in April of 2010.
I have anger issues bad, and I need help. I filled out a survey earlier today, and I felt really bad because I have anger level 9. At level 9 or more you have extreme anger. I need help.
I get angry at the slightest things and take it out on others. I'm out of control. Can someone help me please?
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Sarah. Thanks for asking for help on this site. You will be a better person and a better mother if you follow these recommendations.
You're already a good person, and that's why you want to control your anger and get help.
No one has anger like you have unless they were abused or hurt somehow in the past. Here's what I want you to do for yourself:
1) Write a detailed account of all of the neglect, abuse and mistreatment you received as a child. Don't hold back or leave anything out. Try to describe every detail. This is for no one's eyes but yours, so don't worry about that. The benefit is how it will help you to revisit these memories from your present position.
2) Use the guided imagery healing processes you will find on this page to heal emotionally from the abuse.
3) Use the journaling processes you will find described on this page to begin managing your anger more effectively on a daily basis. This will include a daily journaling process of writing from your anger and then shifting to positive journaling about the good things in you, your life and your children.
4) Moment by moment, day by day, every time you think of your life, think of its positive aspects--what you like, admire, and love about yourself and your world. Use this to extend the benefit of the positive journaling process above.
5) Practice the anger management techniques on this site (click "Techniques" in above left column) over and over again, until you have mastered them.
6) You might consider one of these anger management programs also, if the above exercises do not help you get control of your anger.
Believe in yourself. You can be the good mother and the good person you choose to be.
My very best to you, Sarah,
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