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The She Hulk

by Lakisha
(Lockwood, NY, USA)

My name is Lakisha and I am probably one of the most angry people I know. I have been this way since I was a teen and I will be 32 in less than two weeks.

I don't get pissed I get angry. This is really hard for me to admit because it is not as normal as I thought and it is ruining my life. My ex fiance walked out on me and my son almost two months ago because I get insane. I can tell he still loves me and wants to give us another chance but he is afraid of what I might do to him and I am more than ashamed of that.

I yell and curse almost every day. On a really bad day I throw things, break things, drive crazy, and drink heavily. This is so embarrassing because I really think when I'm having a good day I am funny, thoughtful and a lady. It is really a shame.

I get mad all the time for all kinds of reasons. It does not take much at all for me to get uptight. My muscles have been tense for years so much so when I went to school for massage the instructors said I needed to find something to calm myself and ease my tension because it is wearing on my body and mind.

I guess because of the lifestyle and people I have been around most of my life I did not know how insane I act when I am mad. I've seen other people do what I do most of my life. I don't know how to control my anger at all and I know that is why my love left me.

I am really embarrassed right now because I'm just sitting here thinking of crazy things I have done even since this time last year and I think I need help.

I have a huge scar on my leg because last year I got into a fight with my best friend and fell on broken glass that I had broke and had to get 50 stitches in my leg.

I probably should have been in jail a few times. Amazing that I have no criminal record. I don't want to spend the rest of my life mad. If I do it will kill me, literally.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Lakisha, and thanks for telling your story here. I am very touched by your honesty and clarity, as you describe your situation and your anger problems. It appears to me that this is a very good time for you to begin making some changes in your life. I will try to help.

I have a feeling that if you follow my recommendations, you will start to see/feel some improvement. I can't know that for sure, but that's my feeling.

1) First priority is to stop drinking. A person with your type of anger pattern simply cannot afford to drink alcohol. Learn more on this page about alcohol abuse and recovery. If you don't take this step (sooner than later), I don't think you will get any lasting results from the other steps.

2) Learn to understand and manage your anger by following the steps on this FAQ page. These are powerful tools, but they only work if you use them. I strongly encourage you to use them, and take them very seriously. In your own words, your life may depend on it.

You seem to be at a turning point in your life, Lakisha. I can tell by the way you write that you are intelligent, and I think you are capable of creating a good life for yourself and your child.

Believe in the very best part of yourself. That is who you really are.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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