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Sober Grief

by Pam
(Ontario, Canada )

Me and My Dad

Me and My Dad

I am sure everyone will agree with me that 2020 has been quite the year!

For me personally, it got worse before it got better.

In June of this year, I lost my best friend suddenly from an accidental drug overdose that was laced with Fentanyl. It was heartbreaking for all of us who loved her free spirit, love of life, energetic smile, and deep laugh.

To make matters worse, she wasn't a drug user. She had been having severe internal pain, that was being taken care of by the proper medical professionals, but then an acquaintance suggested some 'pain pills' that would help her even more while she waited for a proper medical diagnosis, and she fatefully agreed.

Then less than three months later, my first love, my Dad passed away peacefully surrounded by myself, my son, my brother and our Mom/Nana. Two losses in under three months was brutal, all during the Covid pandemic.

I was so grateful that a few years before I had stopped drinking! Not only had I stopped drinking, but I had become a Certified This Naked Mind Coach, a Certified Gray Area Drinking Coach, and a Masters Life Coach. I was able to feel my grief as it occurred without having to numb the pain.

Drinking around grief only makes it worse! Alcohol is a depressant and when you consume it while you are grieving, it compounds the pain, and doesn't allow you to grieve properly.

I will hurt and grieve for many years, but knowing that I am feeling all my feelings and not masking them helps me move forward!

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Nov 19, 2020

by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Pam

Thanks so much for your heart-felt story. I am sorry for your losses.

I am also glad for you that you are sober while going through your grief process.

You are so correct about drinking interfering with the grief process. So many think it's normal to drink heavily after a loss, and yet it makes it much worse, and actually interferes with healthy grieving.

I really appreciate your time to contribute here.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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