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Sick Of The Road Rage Including My Own

by Mary
(Boston, MA)

This morning this person was entering a very busy road. Their entrance has a giant yield sign and it's easy to see on-coming traffic. She did not have room enough to not yield to me, but she pulled right out in front of me and I laid on my horn.

I was so angry I was shaking, but I drove up alongside of her, finger in the air, and I cut her off. She remained way behind me, and I noticed that she was taking the same route as me almost all the way to my work. She stayed way far back, but I was ready for a fight.

Per her unwillingness to get too close to me after I dangerously cut her off, I can only guess she knows that her own driving behavior was wrong, but that I was a scary person.

Again, I was so angry, I must have looked purple. But the idea that I could (or would) cause an accident, that I wish harm on someone, that I cannot control my emotions and in turn my actions, that scares me.

I have to drive to work and every day is the same. I live in a congested city and people drive like maniacs. Everyone seems to be vying for the front position no matter what, no matter where. I don't start the day ready to scream at people, but 15 minutes into my commute, that's where I'm at.

I feel very strongly that it's everyone else, you know... never me! But, regardless of faults or intentions, I'm on the road and I'm driving a car. I have to get over this need to lash out or something is going to happen.

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Aug 24, 2016
To Mary - It's Good That You're Concerned About This
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Mary

Good for you for being willing to look at your own behavior and emotional reactions, rather than just focusing on the other person and what they did that made you angry. That self reflection is the first step to change.

I strongly encourage you to make up your mind to get to the root of your anger and try to understand where it comes from. That will allow you to gain more control and begin taking more positive actions in your future driving experiences.

You will find some guidelines and resources on this page to get you started. If you use each of these tools diligently and consistently, you will start to feel more calm and focused on your commute.

Especially use the imagery exercises, and mentally rehearse calm, relaxed driving every day before you leave for work. That will really help you.

All the best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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