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Hello. To be honest, I'm finally relieved to be able to share my story with you.
I dated this guy once for seven months but since we broke up (he broke up with me) until now (9 months since breaking up), I still have a hard time moving on from him. I would cry endlessly for days and I would feel like my heart is getting crushed literally.
When we were still together, I would notice that every time he would have problems, his anger would be directed toward me. Every little thing I do, even though I'm trying my best to please him, just makes him unhappy.
Not a week would go by during our relationship where he wouldn't get mad at me for some reasons that I can't explain. Even though he insists it was my fault. I would eventually find myself agreeing with him and saying I’m sorry for what I've done wrong.
I also remember one fight where he said that I have nothing compared to the other girls, and that he was just putting up with me so I need to consider myself lucky.
Up until now, I would still defend him and try to talk myself out of thinking that he was an abusive partner, for there would still be times where he was trying to prove that he was sorry for what he did. It wasn’t until I tried searching for ways to move on from an abusive relationship and seeing the "symptoms" manifest in me that indeed, I knew was struggling from it.
My relationship with my family right now needs work and I feel like I'm not the woman I used to be. It's like he totally drained me out. I don't want to hold on to these feelings and struggles with self-worth that I have now.
So please, I would like to receive advice and tips so that I can once again live my life freely.
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