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Passive Aggressive Behavior
Causes And Solutions

Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.

Passive aggressive behavior is so common that most people consider it to be normal, when in fact it is very 
harmful to marriages and all relationships. When you know what causes this problem, you can prevent it in yourself and your children. 

The causes go all the way back to your first temper tantrums and how your parents dealt with them. You probably got the message that your anger was bad, and so you learned early in life to keep it inside.

What's more, we learned that anger is bad and we're bad for having it. So, it's no big surprise that a lot of people suppress their anger, which leads to indirect or "sideways" anger.

It's got to come out some way, because anger is just too strong to stay inside and lie dormant. So you have to get it out in healthy ways. 

Causes Of Passive Aggressive Behavior

If you think your anger is bad and you're bad for having it, then you are very likely to become passive aggressive at some point. Here's why:

  • Anger is a natural emotion, and just because you think it's bad doesn't mean it goes away.
  • When you stuffed it, it went into your subconsciou mind, which is where most passive aggressive behavior comes from.
  • Since the anger is still there, and it's a powerful dynamic energy, it looks for a way to get out.
  • You don't let it out consciously, because you think it's bad.
  • Therefore, it comes out unconsciously, in the form of passive aggressive words and actions that have messages you didn't really intend.

Other things that can cause this type of problem are:

  • You have exploded in anger in the past, and you made up your mind not to do it again--but you never learned how to get your anger out in healthy ways, so it comes out in passive aggressive ways.
  • You had experiences in your past that taught you that you are supposed to be nice and never hurt anyone's feelings--"don't make waves."
  • You learned early in life that if you showed anger you would get in trouble.
  • You think you don't have any anger at all.

Solutions To Passive Aggressive Behavior

Looking for solutions to passive aggressive behavior? Okay, I suggest you begin practicing these journaling exercises right away. As you begin to slow down your thoughts to write them down, you will become more consciously aware of what you're thinking. This will help you to activate your good heart, and as a result you will be less passivce aggressive.

Here are some steps to consider:

  • Find out what is behind your anger through the journaling processes.
  • Get started with your emotional healing process, to prevent future passive aggressive behavior.
  • Be sure you understand and know how to express your anger in healthy ways.
  • Learn how to shift your focus to the good things in your life.

Keep in mind that being passive aggressive does not mean you're a bad person. It just means you never learned how to get your anger out in direct, healthy ways--and here's your chance!

Buy this excellent audio program now with a no-risk money back guarantee! You can also preview it at no charge. Remember, healthy anger is the antidote to being passive aggressive. 

healthy anger

Using Healthy Emotions to Heal Your Body

These 2 anger management CDs will help you to tap into the incredible healing power of your anger and all of your emotions. When it's productive and functional, anger doesn’t look, sound or feel like anger as we’ve come to know it. Healthy anger is tremendously powerful energy that fuels effective action. Make your emotions work for you instead of against you in this powerful, uplifting and informative program.

Listen To Previews Now!

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