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My Brother Is Destroying My Life.

by Selena

I'm sure the title seems dramatic, and perhaps it is, but I don't think I'm exaggerating. It has been two years since my 14 years old brother decided that I'm his best shot at releasing his anger.

When this started he was only twelve and I should've been able to stop him, but my mother won't let me say no to him or stand up for myself. My brother suffers from Epilepsy, so my mother is very sensitive around him and would never allow any of us to upset him. Which is why I didn't take this seriously at all, when mother pointed out that I could cause him harm if I made him angry. I started to ignore his verbal abuse or just bear it silently, but it got much worse!

After two weeks or so from that, my brother started banning me from sitting on the dining table with the family, he then proceeded to forbid me from sitting in the living room, from touching anything in the hallways; so I wouldn't dirty it, is what he said.

And still my mother wouldn't stand up for me, in fact, whenever I got angry and demanded that he stop, she would punish me. One time he had the day off, and so he was alone at home when I got back from school and he wouldn't let me in.

I had to wait 3 hours until my mother got back from work. And the only thing she did upon returning was to scold me for not charging my phone so I could call someone to pick me up. She said I wasn't responsible to do even that!

I honestly don't know what to do anymore, the abuse has gotten physical a few months ago and he stabbed me with a screwdriver in my arm once.

I'm truly terrified he might harm me seriously, and that's not even mentioning that I'm not allowed in the kitchen anymore. I have to wait until he falls asleep so I can eat or I risk getting in serious trouble. I'm really desperate, does anyone have any advice?

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Apr 14, 2017
What Is Happening To You Is Wrong
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello Selena - I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Your mother has allowed a situation to develop that is bordering on severe abuse toward you.

I think that in light of the physical violence (stabbing with a screwdriver) and deprivation of basic rights (going into the kitchen to eat at normal times), you are entitled to intervention by the authorities.

I know that does not sound pleasant by any means, but I think contacting child protective services in your area would be better than continuing to tolerate this abuse and torment.

Prisoners who are incarcerated have basic freedoms that you are currently being deprived of. This is just wrong.

Please take action immediately on your behalf. Your mother does not realize it, but she has allowed your brother to become a tyrant in your home, and it sounds like he is currently feeding off of the power he has over you. This is not good, and very likely to get worse until there is some kind of intervention.

If you don't get satisfaction with child protective services, you are within your rights to contact the police and tell them that you're being physically assaulted and deprived of food in your own home.

I'm pulling for you, Serena.

Please write again and let us know if you find support, and if your situation changes.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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