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My Anger Is Getting Worse And I'm Getting Very Physical With It

by Brittany

I'm now 14 years old, it started some time around the age of 6 or 7. I started to get angry at every little thing that went on in my life.

One morning my brother, who is older than me, and I were walking to our school bus stop. We got into this huge argument and I went off on him and clawed his arm, literally clawed it to where it started to bleed so bad that he couldn't go to school for a few days.

After those few incidents in my life, I have not been able to recover. It just keeps getting worse and worse. Now I get mad at random times. I have told my parents that I need anger management extremely bad but they say that it costs too much and that I just need to calm down and handle myself better. Of course I have already tried that my whole life and it once again just made everything in my life even worse.

At my best I am at a 6 on the anger management assessment on this site. At my worst I am at a 10. Most of the time I am at a 7. I need serious help to just stop the anger. It doesn't help that I have tons of strength in my arms and legs either because I hit things and end up hurting myself or someone else.

One time I got so mad at my parents fighting with my sister that I punched my bed, but my right ring finger knuckle hit my remote to my television. My knuckle started to swell up super bad and I didn't even use half of my force.

It would at least help if I could learn how to control myself from hurting others or myself.

Please help me, I'm so very desperate for extreme help.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Brittany, and thanks for telling your story here. I want you to consider that there is nothing wrong with you as a person. It is clear that you do have a serious anger problem, but I also want you to consider that you have very good reasons for your anger.

Anger does not come out of nowhere, and it is never just because "that's the way you are." There is a story behind your anger, and your other emotions of fear and pain, and when you tell those stories, it will help you to understand and heal your anger.

Do the three journaling processes described on this page. This will help you review your past trauma, channel your anger in a healthy way, and begin shifting your focus in a positive direction.

It sounds like there may be a lot of anger in your family, Brittany, from your comment about your "parents fighting with your sister." You might be the "pressure release valve" for your family, taking it to the next level with the physical aggression. Physically expressing your anger is okay, just be sure you don't hurt yourself or anyone else or destroy any property (hitting pillows, etc.). Make up your mind that you're going to let your family do its thing, get the distance and space you need, and heal your own anger with the tools I'm recommending here.

You're a good person, Brittany, I can tell by what you've written here. Remember that. This entire web site is designed to help you. Use it.

Believe in the goodness in your heart, and focus on that daily.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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