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My Anger Erupts And Then Goes Away As Fast As It Came

by Colin
(San Francisco)

I have episodes of rage. It comes on so quickly I am completely out of control, in a way I feel ambushed. These "man fits" are often ignited by someone doing something I consider rude and inconsiderate or, (and I am sad to say this) when my behavior/beliefs are questioned or exposed.

Meter maids bug me as well. But none of these "triggers" warrant the look of murder in my eyes--my rage is true horror. The options I consider normal while seeing red are insane. The strange thing is as quickly as it starts it stops. I mean it can go one for a while but it does not subside. And for no reason it just stops like it never happened. But it did.

I often imagine confrontation escalating, fantasizing about a scene when getting a cup of coffee turns horrible.

I’m 36 years old, and I feel that my default setting is anger. I was labeled ADD when I was eleven, and hyperactive. I took Ritalin for maybe two years while in grammar school but I rebelled and refused to take it any more.

I am an ironworker. I work high steel, and it's the only trade where someone chaotic like me can seem normal. But I think my total inability to stay focused, motivated and organized has left the door open for disorders.

In short, I’m scared and perplexed.

Thank you.

P.S. I dont drive

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Colin, and thanks for telling your story here. There is a story behind your anger, and only you can find out what it is and tell it--and only you need to hear it. I don't know for sure that what I will recommend will work for you, but it's worth a try--you have nothing to lose.

Use the three part writing process described on this page. That will help you look at the story behind your anger, give your anger a daily place to go (so it's not rattling around inside you so much), and begin shifting your focus in a more positive direction. Do all of this, and don't leave anything out, and you'll feel some benefit--maybe a lot.

Practice these anger management techniques on a daily basis, focusing on the ones that work the best for you.

You can do this, Colin. You're a good person inside, which is the reason you don't like the anger that's coming up. Use these tools regularly, and see if that helps.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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