My Anger And My Drinking
I finally accepted I have anger management issues about a week ago, after an altercation with a dear friend. This wasn't the first time I disrespected someone while being drunk, but it is the first time that I realized how aggressive I can become. It happens when I can't control myself and let anger, resentment, jealousy and low self esteem get the worst of me.
I have made the decision to stop drinking until I understand what is triggering my unhappiness and uneasiness. I know alcohol is not the real problem because I sometimes drink and have a great fun time. But if I become angry while under the influence it is harder to think straight and choose love and good.
I also understand that last week's incident was only the tip of the iceberg. At that moment I could have adopted a different action but I would still experience resentment and be angry the next day for not letting my needs be met.
I started going to a therapist the Monday after the argument with my friend. I haven't talked to my friend and it is uncertain if we will ever talk again and heal our relationship. In the meantime, I don't plan to initiate contact. I feel this is the perfect moment to heal myself, to learn how to love myself more. "Until you have learned the lesson, the Universe will bring you the same situation over and over, with different people but the same situation." That's what I understand is happening to me.
In the past I have always said I will stop drinking, or I'm sorry I will not do it again. But I haven't worked with my anger issues because I would take them as spontaneous emotions rather than patterns, trends and bad reactions. I just found out this website and will search through it to heal my pain, break the cycle and be the peaceful, happy person I sometimes am and often think I am.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Aprendi, and thanks for your contribution. I respect your willingness to take responsibility for your anger and your drinking.
I agree that you need to take care of your anger and your emotional healing.
When you say, "I know that alcohol is not the real problem," I want you to consider some things. You sound like you're in denial about your alcoholism. If you're not clear that you're in the early stages of alcoholism, take a look at this article on the early warning signs. You have clearly met some or all of those criteria.
The reason I'm telling you this is that it sounds like you plan to start drinking again when you feel you've done some emotional healing. My concern is that you will just regress emotionally if you do that. I strongly encourage you to get into recovery and perhaps join an Alcoholics Anonymous group.
Then, as you mentioned, look around on the site, and use everything that you think might be helpful to you.
Believe in yourself, Aprendi. And take the alcohol issue very, very seriously.
My very best to you,
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