Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
Managing anger gets a whole lot easier when you learn to manage your mental focus. What you pay attention to grows! The more you focus on something, the bigger it gets for you.
This is one of the ways you work yourself into big anger--simply by focusing on that thing that drives you crazy.
Now you're going to learn how to shift your focus to the good in your life and your world.
And you won't be nearly so angry when you do--as a matter of fact, you'll remember what really matters and who you really are in your good heart.
You may not know it, but you have a the gift of a brilliant mind, and this approach is all about using that gift for managing anger in healthy, productive ways.
This might be the most important question you ever ask yourself. Managing anger absolutely requires that you notice what you're thinking about. When you're focusing on what is good, right and working in your life, you just won't be nearly as angry.
Here are some things to think about:
The longer you let yourself focus on, dwell on and obsess about what is bothering you, the more angry you will be. Managing anger requires that you free yourself from this trap of negative thinking that is fueling your rage.
Have you ever noticed that some problems just solve themselves? Think back over your life, and remember all of those things that have made you angry, and "driven you up the wall." How many of those problems just went away? How many of your fears never came true?
Right now, is there anything working in your life? Does anyone love you? Are you healthy? Do you have any money? Are there any activities you enjoy? I know you have a computer and you can read...and that is something to appreciate!
Managing anger is so much easier when you are remembering the good things in your life. It doesn't make your problem go away, it just puts it into perspective.
Here's what goes on in your brain:
The benefits are clear in this method of managing anger and becoming your own best anger management resource. You are smarter, healthier, and much kinder to others when you're focusing on the good in your life.Now let's get focused on how you do it!
Here's an easy three step process called Goodfinding, that is simply a matter of finding and focusing on what is good, right and working in your past, present and future.
When you use this method of managing anger, you're literally re-training your brain out of the default negative habit of problem focus.
Okay, her's how you do it--it's a three-part journaling process, and you can watch a video on that page that takes you through the step by step guide:
Managing anger is not just a matter of controlling anger. It is also a matter of getting in touch with your good heart, and remembering who you really are inside.
You're a good person who wants to do the right thing, and that's why you're here. Keep up the good work!
Here's an audio CD program which you can download as an MP3 that will help you with managing anger by becoming a Goodfinder!