Losing Hope With My 10 Year Old Son
My 10 year old Jake is angry all the time. He swears at me, my husband, his siblings. He likes to irritate his siblings, like the other night he kept turning off the light while his brother was brushing his teeth, my other son kept asking him to stop, then became angry and yelled at him to stop.
Jake said okay and then did it again at which point my other son hit him (which I do not condone) but Jake then started swearing and freaking out and wanted his brother punished. As I got the entire story he denied any wrong doing. He will often say he didn't do things that he did like hitting his sister or breaking pencils and he'll then say nobody ever believes him. If he does admit to the act he will blame others for his actions.
He will swear at his siblings if he is watching TV and they are playing too loud. When I tell him he can't use that language he will say they make him do it, it's their fault.
He tends to throw things and break things when he is angry. Today he was angry because his bed was broken, so my husband put together a different bed frame. He refuses to sleep there, even though it's his mattress, pillow and blanket just a different frame.
He also exhibits low self-esteem and fear of being accepted. He will say he is dumb or he's not good at sports and that other kids even say it. For years we have dealt with sensory problems. He doesn't like coats, pants or socks. He's very specific about what he will wear and he hates cutting his hair or nails. He also struggles with reading and writing.
It seems as though he has gotten worse and I'm not certain if it's just evolving into something more or if it's stress and depression possibly related to losing his oldest brother…my oldest son passed away in July. He was much older than my other children, but they were close.
I know I need help, but I feel overwhelmed trying to find the right help for him near our home. We did go to a counselor after my older son’s passing but the kids didn't take to her nor did my husband or I.
I also had Jake in occupational therapy a few years ago but it really didn't seem like it helped and he started refusing to go because he felt like he was missing out on playing with his friends.
Sorry for writing so much. Any direction you can give me would be greatly appreciated.