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It's Just A Dog?

by Lulu
(Netherlands)



Hello, I’m from the Netherlands so if my English is not perfect I’m sorry. I’m in grief over a loved one, in my case I’m grieving over my dog who died several weeks ago.

Many people cannot understand that a person can have so much pain over a pet. But he wasn’t only a pet. It was like he was my “furchild” for 14 years.

Together we went through so many painful experiences in life. Together, we experienced sickness, divorce, the death of my father, depression, PTSD, etc. He was more loyal and loving than any human ever could be, and the unconditional love he gave me was something I’ll always be grateful for.

When you’re alone, not being able to work because of illness it’s just you and your dog. That’s my situation. We did everything together, 24/7.

14 years is a long time. And it’s very difficult for me to experience the emptiness and the silence now that he’s gone. The loss of structure, going out for a walk in the forest, cuddling, just the company.

I’ve had two dogs in my life, and the pain after losing them is even bigger then when I lost humans. I can’t help it, I’m not ashamed to admit this.

Here I’m sitting on a Sunday afternoon, by myself and I’m missing him so much. I can imagine people reading this and shaking their heads maybe but I don’t care.

Grief is grief, love is love, and pain is pain, no matter if it’s because of a human or animal.

He was my best friend, and I’ll take a long time to heal. I don’t need to get over it.

“Are you over it?” people ask. Why...as Byron Katie said, "You’ll never get over love."

So ask yourself when you’re crying and feeling grief...”Is sadness what I’m feeling?" Maybe it’s love, and love isn’t something you want to get over.

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Dec 22, 2016
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You Have Every Reason To Feel What You Feel
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello Lulu - Thanks for sharing your story here. I'm so sorry for your loss. Dogs have a way of finding their way deep into your heart, because of their sweet, innocent trust and love. They are indeed the masters of unconditional love.

No one has the right to judge your grief or your grieving process. The bond you felt with your beloved pet is something only you can truly understand, and it is actually nobody else's business. And, as you pointed out, your bond was even deeper because of your circumstances.

I like your comments about whether it's sadness or love that you're feeling. I think it's actually both. The greater the love, the deeper the grief, and remembering the love is the key that unlocks the depths of the sorrow.

Fortunately, as you point out, the love never dies. You will always have your beloved friend's love in your heart. Feel the sadness as deeply and for as long as you want. It might fade over time, but the love never will.

Many blessings to you as you go through this difficult time.

My best,

Dr. DeFoore

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