I'm 17 And I Need To Get Over My Anger
I am a 17 year old girl who is healthy and is going to a great school and has parents who love me and everything I need. I just wonder why I'm so angry all the time and can never talk to anyone about how I feel.
About a year ago I started letting my anger get the best of me and I would lash out towards my boyfriend over the silliest things. A lot of the time it even gets physical. I am scared for myself and for him as well.
He knows I have a problem so he tries to help but also tries to not allow himself to be my punching bag. For example, we will be fighting and I will slap him just for not letting me talk and/or get my point across.
I know I'm not a bad person. I'm a very loving sensitive and caring person so I don't get how I get this way so easily. My childhood wasn't the greatest but it also could’ve been way worse.
I had two parents who loved me so much but they both made very horrible mistakes often. For a while my father was a crack head and would do anything to get his fix (steal, lie, etc.).
He has cheated on my mom their whole relationship, I have watched them fight, and I have also been the person my mom tells everything to ever since I was probably about 4 years old. She wouldn't tell me details of course but she'd say stuff like "daddy's mean" or "daddy doesn't love mommy" and stuff like that but it still got the point across to me.
Because of that I now have a very rocky relationship with my father (who is now clean and is a very amazing, loving, and caring man who will go out of his way to help anyone who asks for it).
My mother does admit to this day that she knows she has fault in it. My dad has always had a very short temper so I know I get that from him. But the part that I don't get is that even when I was 1 years old, I would throw tantrums and always try to hurt myself.
I would get angry over the littlest thing and I would pull my hair and bite myself, the doctors always told my mom that I would just grow out of it but I'm still over here pulling my hair out when I get angry.
So I really just want to get to the bottom of this and learn about how I can try to fix myself because I don't want to lose the people I love. The anger just always seems so uncontrollable.
Please just help me and tell me how I can better myself and deal with this horrible anger issue that I have. I'm very young and I don't want to have to worry about my anger all the time.