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Hi. I am having anger management issues for 8 years. All started when I was studying in secondary school,to describe myself then, I was a quiet, playful and very happy go lucky girl who was very positive too.
It all changed when I was bullied by 6 people emotionally and mentally, They humiliated me in front of everyone taking the advantage of me wanting a friend. At first it was only 6 people and it turned to whole classroom who were mocking at me. I did not tell anyone not even to my mom ( my best friend) I was too scared to even utter a word about them.
It took me 5 years to be graduated and once I stepped my foot in the outside world I was a totally changed person, I was getting angry all the times sometimes it would be even for no reasons, this led me to not having friends and I was my old self.
I had to be angry about everything. I was angry of how people looked at me, I was angry if my mum or sis joked at me ( thinking that they are mocking me). I was taking people like they were accusing me, or making fun of me. My body gesture was full of anger. My anger had grown so bad that I had wanted to raise my hand to hit my mum ( over a small incident). I knew it was a big mistake, but what am I to do? I couldn't control it. It was fuming in me so much that I had to take at least 1 whole day to calm myself down.
But I’m grateful to god my mum understood me and she started to lessen down my anger by bringing me back my positive attitude. For 8 years she tried to change me but I am still having this anger management problem. I am just pretending to my family that I am happy and positive but in truth I am finding it difficult to let go of my anger.
Dear Dr. DeFoore,
I understand that anger is part of our emotions but too much of it is not good. It also includes insecure, confusion and many more emotions. I am suffering from that, I want myself to be happy, positive, laughing, having friends, be brave and be happy with my family again. I want to see myself the happy go lucky person again. I do not want this future controlled by anger.Please tell me a way that I can heal this anger and be happy forever. I am ready to do it.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell that you’re a bright person, and that you want things to be a lot better. I want you to consider that the reason that you don’t like the anger, and the reason that you want to be the happy go lucky person again is that you are naturally a positive person, and the anger is not a good match for who you really are.
But you do have a very strong anger habit. And there is a good reason that you have developed that anger, and you need to find out why it’s there. It’s serving some kind of purpose in your life, or it would not be so strong. I can’t figure this out for you, but you can figure it out for yourself...and I will help you do that.
If you do all of the exercises recommended on this FAQ page, you will start to understand why your anger is there, and you will start to be able to heal it. These are powerful tools, and like any tools, they only work if you use them. And the more you use them, the better they will work for you.
You can do this. You say you’re ready...I believe you. Now you have the tools, and I believe you will use them and reach your goals of being the person you know you really are inside.
My very best to you,
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