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I Died Young

by Michael

My older brother left home when I was 8 and he was 13. Off to Military school.

As an older brother, (I am the youngest of 4 children), he was my roommate and protector. He was somewhat of a father figure to me.

Our father worked long hours to provide, but was emotionally unavailable.

When my brother left, I was deeply hurt and started to split into fragments. The sadness was so profound. I didn't understand the rationales I was given for his leaving, such as "He needs more focus," "He needs discipline" and on and on.

I was alone. I grew resentful of my parents’ good intentions to help him, seemingly without any regard for me or my siblings. My two sisters moved on with life, as best I can tell.

I felt abandoned and unloved.

This is the roots of my pain and grief. At 60 years old, my anger can rise and slingshot into full-blown rage; scorching anything or anyone.

I worked with therapists of all varieties and tried various medications, and to date, my intellectual understanding has not rooted out, and I have not been able to channel this extreme negative energy into positive.

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Jan 07, 2016
You Can Heal
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Michael

Your story is very touching. My brother was sent away when I was 15 years old, so I know some of the pain you've been through.

I strongly encourage you to use journaling and imagery to connect with that abandoned 8 year old version of yourself. You will find some guidelines for those exercises on this page.

The healing resides within you, Michael.

You can do this. Do not give up on yourself.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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