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I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and just like everybody says it was great in the beginning. But now it just seems I can't do anything right.
He is always shouting at me, telling me he hates me and that I am a moody b****. But I'm not moody, I just don't feel happy around him. I sometimes think he's got split personality because one minute he is happy and loves me and the next minute he says he hates me and doesn't want to be with me.
We argue every day and I just feel I can't take it any more. My friends and family hate to see me crying. Every night before I go to bed, because he doesn't trust me, he rings me while I'm asleep to check where I am!
I really want to move on but just feel like I can't because he threatens me and my family whenever I say it's over, so I end up going back to him!
I really need help. I just wish I could tell him it's over and dissapear for a while so he can't hurt me. I tried to leave him once before and he put my house windows through. He told all my friends things about me that were personal. Please help.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. You are definitely in a difficult situation. But you are not alone. Many other people have been through this, and they will help you. See if you can find a battered women's shelter in your area, or a family crisis center. I realize you're in England, but I'm sure there are such agencies in your country, and hopefully in the town where you live.
You have to get apart from him, and yet I realize your need for safety. Reach out, get some help and support from others who understand this type of situation.
Here is a page on how to deal with abusive relationships. Read it and follow the recommendations.
Make up your mind that you are going to find a way out of this relationship without your or your family getting hurt. Did you call the police when he broke your windows? You need to report any and all threatening and illegal behavior that he demonstrates. That will offer you more safety and support.
You have to value yourself and take care of yourself. Ask for help from anyone you know and trust.
You can do this. Believe in yourself.
My very best to you,
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