I Am Invisible To My Husband
Hello. I am a 27 year old female with two beautiful children. I have been with the same man for 6 years. At first he was sweet and would make me feel like no other has ever made me feel. We got married when I was 20 and soon after we had our first child.
He had always been unsure about wanting to be with me for years until recently he says he won't leave us. He says that every relationship is the same and there is no need to find another.
I try to talk to him about how I want us to be close emotionally and he ignores me. He won't look at me or talk. He turns the tv on or gets up to make a sandwich. I cry because he ignores me and he still sits there and doesn't do anything.
He also will audio record me when I'm crying and upset and I won't know about it until he starts to make me feel like I'm acting crazy because I cry. I stay at home with my kids and he treats me like I do nothing. I ask for money and he asks me why I need it. I don't buy anything for myself.
My jeans are two sizes too small for me after I had my second baby. I never ask for anything for myself. I strictly eat ramen noodles and bologna and when he gives me money I will go to the store and cook for us.
He says I am ungrateful and I'm not sure why. I thank him for working hard and letting me stay home with my kids until we feel the youngest is old enough to be out in daycare. I keep the house spotless and his laundry done. He says I'm a good person and I'm a good mother.
His dad has verbally abused me and says I'm nothing but a burden to his son. My husband works Monday through Saturday so we hardly have time together. He says I keep him from doing things he loves like hunting but it's not that.
We hardly ever see him he doesn't get home until 7:30 or 8 every night and my kids are in bed by 8:00. Anytime he has went somewhere he either doesn't come home or he tells me he will be home and doesn't show up when he says he will.
I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts that I can't even talk to him or show my feelings about how I crave us to be close.