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How Do I Stop. I Feel Like I'm Going To Lose Everything
I'm a 21 yr old female. I feel like I have a very big anger issue. Since I was 15 I've been very disrespectful to my parents. They are the best. They give me the best, they have never pushed me into working or anything. All they wanted from me is to finish school and do some chores around the house.
But I felt like every little thing they told me I would blow up in their faces for no reason. The worst part is that my dad would try to say a joke and I would make him feel stupid about him saying it. But truthfully I didn't know what I was saying until I saw his face that I made him sad.
So I thought it was always my parents' fault that I would blow up on them because they made me do it. But now I noticed they weren't the problem--I'm the problem.
I met my boyfriend 2 years ago. We were doing very good the first months, and then I started cursing at him when he pissed me off. But that didn't make our relationship fail. I got pregnant by him and just had my baby in December.
I thought that my anger was just going to go away, but it didn't. My son makes me happy, but any little thing my boyfriend says wrong I blow up. I've been calling him names for the past 3 days for no reason I feel now. And sometimes he tells me that he is getting tired of me and that he is going to leave me if I don't change.
I'm so scared to lose him. I feel like I'm going to end up being alone. My parents barely talk to me and my boyfriend tries to pick up all the hours he can at work to get away from me.
The only person that I feel that loves me is my baby boy. This is the first time I have admitted that I have an anger problem. I always tell the other person that they are the ones with the anger problem.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Edith, and thanks for telling your story here. Congratulations for taking this action and accepting responsibility for your anger. That is the first step to change, and you've already made it.
Now for the next steps. You've made it very clear that you're having problems in all of your relationships except with your son. Here is what I recommend:
Follow all of the steps on this FAQ page. That will help you address the issues underlying your anger, and get you started on a healing process.
You can do this, Edith. If these steps don't work for you, or if you want something more structured, check out these online anger management classes. You can choose from 8, 12, 16 and 24 hour classes.
Believe in yourself, and don't give up.
My very best to you,
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