So, I do home visiting--I'm always driving. People are always tailing me, driving up next to me, looking at me. I'm so paranoid I drive the normal speed limit if not a bit faster. I swear people won't let me get over, or they tail me and its so obvious I cant go any faster.
Help me, what can I do? I usually jam on my brakes really hard, which I know is so, so bad. Or I cuss them out in my rear mirror. I know they can see me. And sometimes I'll wave if they're really on me and say, "Hi there!" if I'm in a good mood.
That works so much better, but most of the time I'm so angry at people who tail me I brake right then and it pisses them off. And if they (men) stare at me I look at them really mean and tell them they're ugly, especially if they were tailing me. HELP!
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hi Vette, and thanks for writing your story for this site. You are obviously smart enough to know that this behavior needs to stop. I'm glad you're asking for help here.
Try these exercises:
1) Do some deep breathing, and get yourself relaxed before driving.
2) Picture yourself in the car, relaxed, breathing deeply and evenly, with a smile on your face.
3) Picture yourself staying relaxed as someone tailgates you, continuing to have a pleasant drive, as you calmly get out of the driver's way.
4) Picture yourself acting in the same relaxed and calm way in response to every stressful situation you might face, concentrating on your relaxation and breathing the whole time.
Then, instead of picturing yourself from the outside, imagine yourself in the car staying relaxed and calm as you deal with each situation.
Also, start journaling from your anger (about driving and drivers) every day, to get your anger out on paper.
You will find a whole page of suggestions on this page. I suggest you practice all of these techniques daily until you get the results you want.
You can do this, Vette. You're a good person, and you can succeed in having a good, positive driving experience.
My best to you,
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