Fear Of What Could Happen
(West Midlands UK)
I have been with my partner 28 years. He is a caring man and has always been there for me,
He has never hit me as he knows that I will not forgive him. I would leave without hesitation as I have known violence from many years ago in my first marriage.
He gets so angry if I correct him and he shouts and makes threats saying, "you do not want me to show you what angry really is." So I keep quiet and just crumble inside.
I am older now and cannot spend my old age always treading on egg shells in case I say the wrong thing or make a noise.
I have thought about running away but do not know where to go as I cannot leave my dog, which some may say is mad. But my dog has kept me sane. And my partner could not look after him as my dog has health issues from being badly abused in his past.
I cry myself to sleep many a night. Thankfully I have my own bedroom as my partner has health problems and he needed a bed for himself as my moving about was keeping him awake.
I smile and pretend I am happy, but inside I am broken and cannot see any way out. I want to scream at him and argue back, but I’m fearful of what he will do. When he was younger he smashed the house up, all over me telling him he was wrong about something.
At that time I told him to leave and we were finished but he said he was sorry and we worked it out. He has never smashed anything since that day. My fear over his verbal abuse is making me ill.
I know it may sound not that bad as he has never hit me, but its turning me into a nervous wreck.
What can I do?